Review- Quest for Fire (1981)

Directed by: Jean-Jacques Annuad
Written by: Gerard Bach
Starring: Everett McGill, Ron Perlman, Nameer El-Kadi, Rae Dawn Chong
Synopsis: In the prehistoric world, a Cro-Magnon tribe depends on an ever-burning source of fire, which eventually extinguishes. Lacking the knowledge to start a new fire, the tribe sends three warriors on a quest for more. With the tribe's future at stake, the warriors make their way across a treacherous landscape full of hostile tribes and monstrous beasts. On their journey, they encounter Ika, a woman who has the knowledge they seek.

I love prehistoric stuff. There is something very fascinating about the world's past before civilization. Whether it be dinosaurs, mammoths, cavemen, or Precambrian jellyfish, it's all interesting. Someone recommended me this film, and as soon as I learned of it's existence I had to watch it. Safe to say, it's as much as you could ask for in a story of this caliber.

With no intelligible dialogue, mostly grunts and an artificial ancient language created by A Clockwork Orange author Anthony Burgess, it allows for a purely visual form of storytelling. It's my favorite form of storytelling. The movie feels sort of like the Dawn of Man segment from 2001: A Space Odyssey in terms of cinematography and pacing. Considering most people believe that's the best part of 2001, I think that's a good thing. The whole movie is hypnotic, allowing the viewer to get lost in the prehistoric world the story takes place in.

It has everything you need in a movie too. We've got a hero, a love subplot, some action, humor, some human tension, and character development. And it's all executed very, very well. It's thoroughly entertaining. Even though this movie was made in 1981, before CGI, we still get sabre-cats and mammoths! Of course, the sabre-cats are lions with fake teeth and the mammoths were unconvincing puppets (they may have also been some sort of animal wearing costumes during the far off wide shots, but I'm not sure. They weren't elephants though), but they were there and I wasn't expecting it. Also, while they weren't particularly convincing, they did look ten times better than stop motion and I'm glad we didn't that. The acting is also very good, it's hard to take people dressed up as cavemen seriously but they managed to do it. Ron Perlman is in this movie, and he was born to play a caveman.

I recommend this to anyone who likes prehistory. It's not particularly accurate, especially now, but it captures the essence of early humanity. It's available on netflix.

8/10

Review- Tomorrowland (2015)

Directed by: Brad Bird
Written by: Damon Lindelof, Brad Bird, Jeff Jenson
Starring: George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Raffey Cassidy, Hugh Laurie

Synopsis: Whenever Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) touches a lapel pin with the letter T on it, she finds herself transported to Tomorrowland, a city filled with huge robots and sleek buildings. The gifted young woman recruits the help of scientist Frank Walker (George Clooney), a previous visitor to Tomorrowland, who years ago made a startling discovery about the future. Together, the two adventurers travel to the metropolis to uncover its mysterious secrets. 

I really wanted to like Tomorrowland, because I like Brad Bird and Damon Lindelof and any big budget movie that's not a sequel, reboot, or remake for that matter. But they sure made it hard to. It was almost good, all elements were there but the handful of cons completely outweigh all the pros.

The movie had bad pacing (it wasn't until 46 minutes in did I realize it was no longer the beginning of the movie) and editing, and it made the movie look like a big jumbled mess. The movie is like a road action movie which might be misleading as I, and many others, thought that this movie would take place primarily in Tomorrowland. It felt as if it was once a completely different movie that had a tough production and the whole movie was changed midway through. Bird has said that this wasn't the case, but it sure does feel that way. But the movie has bigger issues.

I am not accusing Bird or Lindelof of anything, but this movie has very near-pedophilic romance. When George Clooney's character was a kid, he fell in love with a girl who was a robot. When he's a bitter middle aged adult, he and the little girl robot continue to have an odd chemistry that implies there is still love between them. At the end of the movie, the girl admits she loves him (although not using the words 'I love you', and he never says 'I love you too'.) It's done rather tastefully and it's technically not pedophilia, but it's too close for comfort for a kid's movie. It adds nothing to the story either so it could have been left out. I doubt any of it was intentional but I really don't know what went through their heads that led them to believe that it was okay. The good news is, George Clooney and the Raffey Cassidy (who plays the robot girl), are both great actors and despite it being incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, the chemistry between the two are acted and written well.

The other issue is the absolutely silly ending, where we discover that our world is going to die because Tomorrowland has a machine that spies off of them and inadvertently is sending out waves of pessimism, with Hugh Laurie's character, knowing the effects, lets our world die anyway. It made no sense, was completely out of tone, and was just plain dumb. I was sort of digging the whole 'optimism' theme the movie was trying to give, but the ending twist ruined it.

Some of the dialogue is iffy and the writing is messy, but as I said, there are elements to this movie which made it almost good. The visual effects are great, as are the designs for much of the things you see in Tomorrowland. There are a lot of neat little ideas like the pin that, when touched, takes you to Tomorrowland for an elaborate commercial if sorts. There is a highly entertaining action sequence which involves a sci-fi collectibles store and Keegan Michael-Key that's worth mentioning. There's also a great quote Hugh Laurie says near the climax about how screwed up our world is, which was one of the few good lines of the movie.

This movie is a complete misfire, and I would only recommend it because it's such a misfire that it's fascinating. It's an oddity.

4/10

Review- San Andreas (2015)

Directed by: Brad Peyton
Written by: Carlton Cuse
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario

Synopsis:  A seemingly ideal day turns disastrous when California's notorious San Andreas fault triggers a devastating, magnitude 9 earthquake, the largest in recorded history. As the Earth cracks open and buildings start to crumble, Ray Gaines (Dwayne Johnson), an LAFD search-and-rescue helicopter pilot, must navigate the destruction from Los Angeles to San Francisco to bring his estranged wife (Carla Gugino) and their only daughter (Alexandra Daddario) to safety. 

There are only three disaster movies that I've seen that aren't completely terrible, and San Andreas is not one of them. I recommend you watch Twister, The Day After Tomorrow, and Dante's Peak because they're the closest your ever going to get to watching a 'good' disaster movie. I do not recommend you watch this, no matter how much you enjoy The Rock.

I have so many problems with this movie so I'll start by listing the few positives. They're all part of the action sequences, but I am in no way saying the action in this movie is good. The first is a scene in which Carla Gugino's character Emma Gaines (the estranged wife of Dwayne Johnson's character Raymond Gaines. I think their last name is named after The Rock's muscles) goes to the top floor of a building and, when the building collapses, falls through the building one story at a time, surviving by continuously hitting the slab of roof she was standing on. The second was a scene in which the male British love interest to Alexandra Daddario's character, which is Raymond Gaines daughter, saves her from a chunk of concrete on top of her car using a tirejack and by deflating her wheels. The third is when The Rock and Gugino are driving a boat towards a tsunami. Each of those scenes were kind of clever and had a hint of creativity, and I would have wished to see them in a better movie.

Why I find the movie so awful is because it has insufferable characters, insufferable dialogue, and insufferable acting (particularly from Alexandra Daddario). Even Dwayne Johnson, who has major charisma and is usually enjoyable to watch on screen, does a terrible job. I think he feels off in the movie because it's not serious enough to be a 'serious role', but it's not fun enough for him to really shine, so it comes off like The Rock monotonously saying cornball lines. There is a scene where he cries, but it's not effective or convincing. It's not just Dwayne Johnson and Daddario though, no one does a good job in this movie. All the characters are so cliche that it's irritating and the dialogue made me want to get up and walk away (perhaps go outside, but I doubt that'll happen anytime soon).

CGI wasn't good and nothing was believable, despite all the destruction nothing feels at risk. The writing feels thrown together and is filled with logical holes. It makes as much scientific sense as Sharknado. The plot is nonsensical, the action is nonsensical, and you don't have characters written well enough for me root for them. Therefore, the only thing I could do was endure a terrible experience.

I'd really like to see a disaster movie that captures the depression, the fear, and the element of survival correctly some day. I'd really like to see them interpret it like a real movie instead of an action flick that isn't fun or B movie. Maybe one day.

3/10