Review- San Andreas (2015)

Directed by: Brad Peyton
Written by: Carlton Cuse
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario

Synopsis:  A seemingly ideal day turns disastrous when California's notorious San Andreas fault triggers a devastating, magnitude 9 earthquake, the largest in recorded history. As the Earth cracks open and buildings start to crumble, Ray Gaines (Dwayne Johnson), an LAFD search-and-rescue helicopter pilot, must navigate the destruction from Los Angeles to San Francisco to bring his estranged wife (Carla Gugino) and their only daughter (Alexandra Daddario) to safety. 

There are only three disaster movies that I've seen that aren't completely terrible, and San Andreas is not one of them. I recommend you watch Twister, The Day After Tomorrow, and Dante's Peak because they're the closest your ever going to get to watching a 'good' disaster movie. I do not recommend you watch this, no matter how much you enjoy The Rock.

I have so many problems with this movie so I'll start by listing the few positives. They're all part of the action sequences, but I am in no way saying the action in this movie is good. The first is a scene in which Carla Gugino's character Emma Gaines (the estranged wife of Dwayne Johnson's character Raymond Gaines. I think their last name is named after The Rock's muscles) goes to the top floor of a building and, when the building collapses, falls through the building one story at a time, surviving by continuously hitting the slab of roof she was standing on. The second was a scene in which the male British love interest to Alexandra Daddario's character, which is Raymond Gaines daughter, saves her from a chunk of concrete on top of her car using a tirejack and by deflating her wheels. The third is when The Rock and Gugino are driving a boat towards a tsunami. Each of those scenes were kind of clever and had a hint of creativity, and I would have wished to see them in a better movie.

Why I find the movie so awful is because it has insufferable characters, insufferable dialogue, and insufferable acting (particularly from Alexandra Daddario). Even Dwayne Johnson, who has major charisma and is usually enjoyable to watch on screen, does a terrible job. I think he feels off in the movie because it's not serious enough to be a 'serious role', but it's not fun enough for him to really shine, so it comes off like The Rock monotonously saying cornball lines. There is a scene where he cries, but it's not effective or convincing. It's not just Dwayne Johnson and Daddario though, no one does a good job in this movie. All the characters are so cliche that it's irritating and the dialogue made me want to get up and walk away (perhaps go outside, but I doubt that'll happen anytime soon).

CGI wasn't good and nothing was believable, despite all the destruction nothing feels at risk. The writing feels thrown together and is filled with logical holes. It makes as much scientific sense as Sharknado. The plot is nonsensical, the action is nonsensical, and you don't have characters written well enough for me root for them. Therefore, the only thing I could do was endure a terrible experience.

I'd really like to see a disaster movie that captures the depression, the fear, and the element of survival correctly some day. I'd really like to see them interpret it like a real movie instead of an action flick that isn't fun or B movie. Maybe one day.

3/10